Abasement, humiliation, and their role in the child mental deviations

The Altakkir and humiliation is one of the worst factors in the child's psychological deviations, it is one of the biggest factors in establishing the phenomenon of self-esteem in children ... We often hear that the mother or the father (the month when Balold deflects the first time the precious traditions of ethics, if a lie is always called him once liar, and if slapped his younger brother once called him Balharir, and if cheated on his little sister took them apple was hand called him Bamahtal, and if taken from the pocket of his father rarely called him Balsariq, and if we asked him a glass of water to drink but he refused called him Baleksol, and so Nchehr him in front of his brothers and his family from Slip the first ...).
One manifestation of contempt and humiliation in our environments call boy obscenities and phrases ugly in front of the brothers and relatives, sometimes in front of friends a child, or in front of strangers has never saw them and met them, and this - no doubt - which makes the boy look at himself that he is nasty humiliating, and rubbish of no value, no regard, and this - well - which generates the same psychological contract that paid to
To look to others look malice and hatred .. and involves himself a fugitive from the sons of life, be defeated from the costs and responsibilities!! .. 
Hence we know of any felony to derive our sons and daughters while Nzj them to life in this atmosphere of Education faulty corrupt and cruel treatment.
Vikv hope the boys obey, land, and the revered and respected, and balanced and integrity .. we have been sown in them when they were young seeds of this deviation or disobedience or rebellion ..?!
A man came to Umar ibn al-Khattab may Allah be pleased with him complain about the ingratitude of his son, Vahdhar age of the child and point out Akogah to his father, and forget the rights to it, the boy said, 'O Commander of the Faithful is not the rights of the child to his father?Umar said: Yes! He said: What are you faithful?
'Umar said, to select his mother, and improves his name, and teach him the Book (the Koran).
The boy said, 'O Commander of the Faithful, my father did not do anything like that, but my mother it was a Negro magician .., has called me made ​​(ie, beetle), and did not teach me of the book characters by one.
Omar turned to the man, and said to him: I came to your son has been complaining about ingratitude Akgueth before Aafk, and offended him by that offends you. [1]
It Traúv mentioned that the father of Ir son, his mother, and said to him, and you are the Son Otakalphena nation? He said the boy to his father, my mother and God better than you, Dad!! .. Father: Why?
The boy said: they did well Voldtna selection of free, and you are misunderstood Voldtna choice of a nation!! ..
We do not doubt that the ugly abusive words that slip from the father for the son was not issued until the very disciplinary reform of guilt .. big or small, signed it and his behavior!!.
But treatment for committing this sin is not suitable in this case Algillah, and the way Altnifah .. which have serious effects in the psyche of the child and his personal behavior .. and thus make him a man habitually on the language of insults and curses, and seeking to acquire the manners deviants fools .. and we will be this cruel treatment had a fetus to the child, and psychological and moral Ahtmnah from where we know or do not know, instead we consider a reasonable human being balanced together walking in the paths of life, the light of reason, prudence, integrity and the right set forth ..
But what is the treatment of Islam to the child if he has done wrong or a mistake made?
Treatment to correct his mistake Nnbha kindly and gently, and convince him irrefutable arguments, and those who issued it is not satisfied by a sane human being, insight and understanding of mature thought sober ..
Understanding and satisfied and we got what we want to fix his mistake and deal with .. and the only deviation Valmaaljh will be a different way   A sentence.
This method is the high-soft in discipline is the way of the Messenger e .
Here are some of the models treated in the soft and His commandments:
Abu Amama said the young boy came to the Prophet e He said: O Messenger of Allah, permit me to adultery, people turned to rebuke him and said: Meh. Meh.. He said: Leave him alone soon. He said, sat down, he said: Would you like for your mother? He said: No, God made ​​me your ransom. He said, people do not like their mothers. He said: Would you like for your daughter? He said: No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allah God made ​​me your ransom, said: people do not like it for their daughters. He said: Would you like for your sister? He said: No, God made ​​me your ransom. He said, people do not like the sisters. He said: Would you like your aunt? He said: No, God made ​​me your ransom. He said, people do not like the aunts. He said: Would you like to your aunt? He said: No, God made ​​me your ransom. He said, people do not like the aunties. He said he put his hand on him and said: O Allah forgive his sins and cleanse his heart, and the fortress of reappearance was not after the boy turned to something. [2]
Muawiya ibn al-Hakam and said peaceful Whilst I was praying with the Messenger of Allah - e - The man sneezes of people and I said God bless you. Faramany people with their eyes and I said Izql Omaah What do you see your business. So they beat with their hands on their thighs when I saw them Asamtonny but I kept silent when the Messenger of Allah - e - Fbiby is what I saw my mother and a teacher before or after is better educated than sure of what Kahrny cursed me and hit me and said, «This prayer is not the right place for everything from the words of people but it is a praise and zoom in and read the Koran» [3] .
Anas ibn Maalik said: A Bedouin came to the mosque, urinated in the mosque, said the owners of the Prophet - e - Meh Meh. The Prophet - e - «Not Tzermoh». When he had finished calling the Prophet - e - He said: «This is the mosques did not take this the toilet, urine and dirty, but taken to read the Quran and remembrance of Allah Almighty». Then ordered some of his companions guilt or a bucket of water Vsbh it. [4]
Ibn Shihab told me Obaidullah bin Abdullah bin threshold that Abu Huraira told him that a Bedouin urinated in the mosque, railed to the people to fall by the Messenger of Allah said to them, e : «The invitation, and his urine Ohricoa the sins of water - or a record of water - you sent facilitators for he did not send a insolvent» [5]
And His commandments, blessings and peace in the kindness and gentleness:
Aisha - may Allah be pleased - said to attack the group of Jews to the Prophet - e - They said to poison you. I told you, but poison and curse. Said, «O Aisha Rafiq that God loves kindness in all things». I Did not hear what they said, «I said to you» [6] And Aisha, wife of the Prophet - e - From the Prophet - e - Said «There is no kindness in a thing but it adorns not be stripped of everything but it makes it». [7]
And Aisha, said: Aisha rode a camel, it was difficult, they made ​​hesitation, said to her, the Messenger of Allah e : You must be gentle, it does not Iike the thing but it adorns, not taken away from a thing but that. [8]
  And Jarir said: The Messenger of Allah - e - «Is deprived of kindness is deprived of all goodness».[9]
What saved him after the above that the contempt of the child and Tanifa is a constant - especially in front of the audience - is one of the biggest factors in establishing the phenomenon of self-esteem .. One of the greatest causes of the deviations of child psychological and moral .. and the best treatment for this phenomenon is to alert the child to his mistake if a mistake kindly and gently with an indication of the arguments that convinced them to avoid the error .. and the teacher that wanted to rebuke the boy and reprimanded but not in front of the audience, and should behave with him in the first method is good in the reformed calendar Aauajjajh, this method is the way the Prophet (PBUH) in the reform, education, calendar warp ..
[1] - Alert the heedless, version 2 - (1 / 19)
[2] - Musnad Ahmad (Sora) - (7 / 407) (22 211) 22 564 - Right
[3] - Sahih Muslim - Thesaurus - (1227) - EE: River and rebuked
[4] - Sunan al-Kubra of Bayhaqi - Thesaurus - (2 / 413) (4312) correctly
[5] - Sahih al-Bukhari - Thesaurus - (6128)
[6] - Sahih al-Bukhari - Thesaurus - (6927)
[7] - Sahih Muslim - Thesaurus - (6767) - would: Shin: against Zein, a defect.
[8] - Musnad Ahmad (Sora) - (8 / 323) (25 386) 25 900 - Right
[9] - Sunan Abi Dawood - Thesaurus - (4811) correctly
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